Last night I was listening to a Teleseminar by Jon Polmar and Wayne C. Allen. They were discussing the idea of owning your own feelings and accepting the fact that no one can MAKE you feel a certain way. Sometimes we like to blame others who hurt our feelings. True, someone may be rude, unkind, and even hateful, but unless they are physically abusing us, we have a choice in how we interact with them. It is really our perspective of a situation that allows someone elses behavior or words to hurt so. One of the speakers was talking about when he gets upset with something or someone, his wife will ask him, "How's that working for you?" Meaning, is your anger or hurt feelings helping and working out well for you?
I typed out the phrase "How's That Working for You?" in red and taped it to the top of my monitor. This is to remind myself, when I am letting certain stressful thoughts that actually cause my chest to hurt, to stop and ask myself that question. Negative feelings usually do not work very well, and it is time to have a change of perspective.
Karen Best Wright, B.S. Community Health Education
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